Stitched Up (Ad Nauseam Postcard)

Blurb

Were you ever the victim of a cruel knitting pattern experiment as a child? Or, even worse, as an adult? Did you have a grandmother who planned to take over the world by smothering it in crochet? Well, "Stitched Up" sends you postcards from victims forever trapped in this dead-zone of dropped stitches: families doomed to walk the earth in matching pullovers; young women trapped in floor length cardigan-dresses; tanktops that looks like place mats; balaclavas designed for the catwalk; and that blight of a generation than cannot speak its name - the hooded poncho. Help to relieve a secret sufferer with this handy self-help kit - it's good to know you weren't the worst.